Tips for men to survive Twilight Saga: Eclipse
With the first summer of the new decade fast approaching, it can mean only one thing to women everywhere: on June 30, the new Twilight movie is coming out. For men, we’re left with a collective eye roll, hoping our girlfriends won’t drag us along for two hours of hell. If you find yourself stuck into having to watch this chick-flick, vampire spectacle, here are some ideas to get you through the movie with your manliness intact.
Spike your drink with alcohol for a buzz.
We all understand that concessions at movies are expensive, and unless you are at an independent theater you more than likely can’t get alcohol there. No problem! Simply go to the liquor store before the movie and buy a small bottle of your favorite poison (I recommend jager); more than likely it will be cheaper than the medium sized drink you get at the concession stand. Take a few sips and mix in the liquor for an enhanced screening.
Go to a theater with movable arm chairs
As much as your significant other will want to go opening night, more than likely that won’t happen. Give it a few days, and try and find an open row to sit in. Your date will be so interested in the movie she won’t notice when you move the armchairs and lay down for a nice little nap.
Get a friend to go with you
Look, you have plenty of friends who either are tied up with someone or are desperate to spend time with a female. What better way to help your friend out then with a double date on this event? This will also be beneficial at the bar next week, when you try and discuss how lame the movie was. Everybody else would deny they saw it, but trust me they more than likely did.
Be mature about having to see Twilight.
Men, I know this is difficult, but let us be reasonable. Given the economy right now, we’re not going out as much as we wanted to. This is something she genuinely wants to do, and if she wants you to go, you’re stuck. Treat it like a date, buy her dinner beforehand, be respectful during the movie and stroll through a park afterwards. If you do this right who knows, you could be rewarded as well.
Follow these rules (whichever ones you choose) and you’ll survive yet another vampire outing. Just realize that it could be a whole lot worse, she could have made you read the books or role play wearing glitter.