Strong, Silent Type?
A lot of men want to be the strong, silent type, which is fine. Except that a lot of men seem confused about exactly what the strong silent type is.
Many of my male friends–and men I’ve dated–mistakenly believe that being the “strong, silent type” means that you can’t ever reveal your feelings, or admit any weakness. That does not make you the strong, silent type. It makes you seem emotionally closed off.
Here’s the thing: it’s not brave if you’re not scared. Right? Can we agree on that?
Well, you’re not strong if there is nothing to overcome, no struggle, and no emotional conflict.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you cry or that you spill your guts willy nilly. Nor am I saying that you need to share your every single passing thought.
What I am saying is that now and then you’ll find a woman who’s worth it. A woman you don’t want to lose. With that woman, you need to pony up sometimes and tell her what’s going on.
If you’re struggling with something, explain it her. If there is something you don’t know, admit you don’t know. If you’re afraid of something, then confess your fear.
If she is a woman worth her salt, she will be all the more impressed with you when you move through whatever the obstacle is. Because that’s what you were going to do anyway, right?
After you pretended nothing was wrong, stopped growling at her like a bear, and just plain old got over yourself, that is. Right? Once you were done with all that, you were going to move through the obstacle.
So, just skip all of that and tell her what’s going on with you. Otherwise, you’re growling like a bear and stomping around insisting nothing’s wrong because you want to seem strong and silent, but in reality… you just seem like a tool. Because we have no idea why you’re acting so squirrely.
But if you admit what’s going on, there are some benefits. We now understand you a little better. We feel privileged that you trusted us enough to reveal it. And we now see how strong you really are. Strength is impressive when you know the odds someone overcame to succeed.