Practicing with a Professional Girl
DISCLAIMER: The dating information contained within this column is meant for social enlightenment only, any misuse or misinterpretation of the advanced dating techniques described herein is solely the reader’s responsibility. The self proclaimed experts here do not accept any legal responsibility for empowering the reader with techniques known only up to this point by a select handful of international professional daters.
Artwork by Ron Warne
Lucy is a former NFL Cheerleader and professional stage dancer. She currently enjoys a huge following as a dating advice columnist for a major newspaper syndicate and appears regularly on an assortment of TV Talk Shows
The Professor is an expert in ancient tribal sexual rituals and communication. He will offer unique historical insights into the human condition as relates to the theory of modern day relationships.
Chad is a former semi pro athlete and now casting director for a Blockbuster Hollywood Motion Picture Studio. Chad is a self proclaimed expert on the art of the pickup and all matters related to women.
For the Experts
Eddie (29) from Wankerville, New Jersey, asks:
“I’ve never been with a… um … professional girl before? Well actually I’ve never been with a girl before.
What I mean to say is, I’ve been out on a date but I’ve never sealed the deal, so to speak. So anyway I’m thinking it would be good practice to go to a working girl first.
Eddie, I suggest that even before you go to a prostitute that you get some practice on something first so you don’t totally embarrass yourself. Go to your local sex shop and buy the most expensive blow up sex doll that you can afford.
Some come with vibrating parts, if you know what I mean. Practice on this twice a day for the next 6 months before you go to a hooker, they will appreciate that you have done your homework. I gave this same advice to Chad years ago and now look at him.
I know that wasn’t the question but just for the record I wanted everyone to know that ….. and secondly, Lucy , I didn’t need to do that for the whole 6 months, I perfected my technique in only 3 and a half before I knocked on heaven’s door.
From the beginning of time males have practiced on whatever means were available to them. Did I ever mention I grew up on a farm?