“Oh, I’m not looking for a relationship either…”
You did everything right. You were honest and upfront about who you were and what you wanted. You told her as soon as you met and sparks started to fly that you were not her White knight. You said it loud and clear: “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”
And then she gave the response that was magic to your ears: “Oh, Me neither. ”
“I do not have time for a boyfriend right now.”
“I’m definitely not looking for anything serious right now.”
You smiled. She smiled. There was a twinkle there. Before you know it, your jeans are in a pile in the floor rubbing against each other.
Sounds great, right? You’re headed for a casual thing, where no one gets hurt. Right?
Uh, seriously, dude? You just get here?
You just fell hook, line, and sinker for the most common trap on the books.
What?? You say. But she seemed so sincere and convincing when she said it!
Yeah, and she may have even tried to mean, or thought she meant it when she said it.
But, dude, she only said it because you said it. See… she was already crushing on you and she wanted something to happen. And then you let loose with “I don’t want a girlfriend” so she had to say the same sort of thing, right?
Here’s what you need to know:
1. Women never really believe you when you say you’re not looking for anything serious.
2. If they do think you mean it, they’re sure that they will be the exception.
3. If a girl is really, really into you, she’ll agree with things you say even if she doesn’t really mean them.
4. Most women really are looking for a relationship, even when they don’t think that they are.
The only time you should believe a girl really isn’t looking for anything serious is when she busts out with that information first. (And even then, approach with caution. But we’ll discuss that on another day.)
Otherwise, assume that the girl you’re talking to is–on some level–interested in being in a relationship. Therefore, if you choose to go to bed with her, you do at your own peril. Because the same girl who swore she didn’t want a boyfriend will be ticked off when you go out with your boys on Friday night rather than spending it with her.
If the two of you got horizontal and she liked it, then she’s interested in round two. And if she’s interested in round two? Then she wants to be your girlfriend. At least for now.