Love is a Four-Letter Word. It’s Just Not the One You Think.
We calculate your affection for us in direct proportion to how much time you spend with us. Let me give you a moment to allow that to sink in.
Yes, that means exactly what you think it does. You’re going to have to carve some things out of your current routine.
So some of your boys’ nights are going to have to go–that is, if you want to date a quality woman long-term.
Face-time is important, but it’s also what you do with that time.
If you are present, but doing little more than nodding and saying ‘uh huh” and “yeah,” that doesn’t really count. Don’t think you can multi-task when it comes to winning us over and keeping us happy.
You can’t invite us over and then focus all your attention on the game. Unless we are as passionate about the sport as you are, we’re going to be pretty irritated by that move.
And here’s a tip: if when you ask her if she likes football (or whatever sport) her answer is, “sure” or “I like it okay,” she is not as into as you are. Just having us physically present while you go about your daily activities is not what we mean.
You want to really win points with a woman? Pay attention to her.
If I’m seeing someone new and it becomes obvious that he is really paying attention to me, that is a huge turn on. It can be simple things like remembering the details of some story I told him, or recalling the names of and salient details about my friends. It can even be remembering that I love to eat at Carino’s, but I detest eating at Carrabba’s.
Yes, that sort of stuff really does matter.
For women, life is in the details. Haven’t you ever noticed that when a woman is interested in you, she remembers the casual, by-the-way things you’ve told her?
She remembers that you said you had a meeting with someone and what it was about. She knows your favorite dessert. She knows that you hate Bill Belichick, but you love Tom Brady. That’s one of the ways she indicates her interest in you as a person.
Here’s a human interaction tip: people typically like to be treated in kind. So if someone has bothered to pay attention to your mundane details, they’d like it if you did the same.
It’s all about tuning in.
As women, it never ceases to amaze us–and irritate us–that the same man who can rattle off stats about their favorite sports team, remember the intricate history of coaches and trades, and tell you precisely the time and date of the next six games their favorite team is playing cannot be bothered to recall our birthdays or some anxiety-producing event scheduled for today.
Since the man didn’t bother to remember he, of course, never asks us how it went.
If you really find it taxing to really focus in on the woman you’re dating and remember the details of her life and who she is, then perhaps you should ask yourself this: why are you dating her?