An Alternative Explanation for Unemployment
A lot of pundits have made a huge amount of noise over the past few years about how much unemployment there is. A great many people have stopped working for pay, and are instead working to expand their waist lines and grow their beards in honor of ZZ Top. Yes, even the women.
To hear some people talk, you would think that 10% unemployment (which is still technically 90% employment) was the worst thing since cutting your hand while slicing bread.
But while outsourcing overseas, downsizing due to mergers and acquisitions and fish coated with petroleum are all horrendous reasons why a person might suddenly lose his or her paycheck, there is another reason that nobody talks about.
Maybe these people just don’t feel like working.
Have you ever gotten up after a night of beautifully hedonistic debauchery, and seriously felt like not going to work, so you could sleep until the double vision subsided?
About ten million Americans may have decided (after holding the largest kegger in human history) that it might be awfully cool to just stop going to their jobs.
And really, why didn’t they think of this idea a long time ago? Why in the world would any person go somewhere they hate every day, so that they can buy a bunch of junk they don’t even need?
It’s rather like when you get up every day and smack yourself in the face with a hammer – if you don’t like it, stop doing it!
While there have been theories for recent unemployment figures, ranging from Martians stealing all of our jobs (with a special emphasis on roofing and satellite dish installation) to babies being born with the instinct to work immediately (and how easy it is to negotiate salary against an infant), these are both just cover stories for the real reason we’re not working…
We’ve got more fun things to do!
Feel free to lambast me in the comments section below.